This year

This year has been awful. 

I am not talking about just my life this past year. Many people that I know and love have suffered much this year. Our church has suffered much this year. 

It has not been easy.

There has been hope deferred, hope dashed, false hope, betrayal, loss of relationships, loss of stability, loss of identity in who we are, and loss of vision for the future (for any future, in some cases).

We have cried, we have pleaded for mercy and yet the waves of turmoil have crashed over us. Again. And again. Until we thought there was nothing left but to let the waves engulf us.

We have been angry. Angry that this could happen, angry that people could do that to us, angry that God is silent. Why has He been silent?

We have mourned. Fully, on our knees before the Lord with nothing but groans for Jesus to interpret for us. 

It is a bleak picture I have painted.

Many people would ask, "WHERE. IS. GOD?!"

And maybe we have. 

But the beauty of this year, that has been enfolded in pain and suffering and tears, is that He has been here.

He has walked in our turmoil, He has held us when we cry at night over the pain, He has comforted and consoled. He has grown us and matured us because He loves us so fully, He could not leave us where we were. 

He has been steadfast.

How can we look over a year like this and be full of joy, gratitude, and worship?

Because we have seen His hand in all things. 

We see His hand before us.

We see His hand over us, singing His name and peace and holiness over our damaged and hurting souls.

This year has been awful. This year has been beautiful.

And so, we walk forward into a new year. And maybe the new year will be full of more suffering. Maybe it will be full of rejoicing. Either way, He is good. He is steadfast.

He is holy.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. The Lord preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever. 

Psalm 145:17-21

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negeb! Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him. 

Psalm 126:1-6