Advent

I don't know what it is about this year.

I've never been one to love Christmas. The season is nice, I like getting together with family, the lights, the general merriment. But I almost always leave the season with disappointment. I'm too much of an idealist, I think, and Christmas just doesn't live up to the hype.

But something about this year is different. I find myself with anticipation. Not giddy, breaking out all the Christmas decorations and singing Jingle Bells at the top of my lungs. It is quiet anticipation.

Hushed.

I find myself anticipating Him.

The idea of a time of advent has never made much sense to me. He came, He did it, I don't get why we look forward to the estimated day of His birth. It just didn't add up for me. Christmas is just an over-commercialized, over-celebrated day, right? Shouldn't I be more focused on believing it year round, day in and day out?

Maybe.

But I can't get this scripture out of my head:

But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah,

who are too little be among the clans of Judah,

from you shall come forth for me

One who is to be ruler in Israel,

whose coming forth is from of old,

from ancient days.

Therefore he shall give them up until the time

when she who is in labor has given birth;

then the rest of his brothers shall return to the people of Israel. 

And he shall stand and shepherd his flock

in the strength of the Lord,

in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.

And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great

to the ends of the earth.

And he shall be their peace.

Micah 5:2-5

It resonates deep in my soul. It is an ancient promise, and it was a late promise to those who heard it. 

All of creation had been holding it's breath for that moment. 

Even when this promise was made, years before the fulfillment, they were waiting. I can almost see them with the anticipation in their eyes, hoping against hope that salvation was coming. Despairing because it seemed like it wasn't going to happen.

Maybe I identify with that. With that mixture of despair and hope.

That promise is as much for me as it was for them. But I get to see it. I see it with my eyes, I feel it with my heart, my soul is defined by it. 

I dwell secure and He is my peace.

I am anticipating Him, and I have already received Him. 

Now....and not yet.

I don't know why this year is different. But I feel a deep joy, one that doesn't make sense, bubbling up at the thought of Him, His sacrifice to take on flesh in the most helpless form. To save my helpless form. 

O come Thou Dayspring, come and cheer

Our spirits by thine advent here;

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,

And deaths dark shadows put to flight.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel!

Shall come to thee, Oh Israel!