Sovereign

There's a lot going on.

That's probably an understatement. It feels like everything is going on. And none of it is good.

The world feels like it's falling apart this summer. Ebola, beheadings, riots. That's just the tip of the iceberg. 

I've been listening to a lot of NPR. Laugh if you want, but I'm feeling much more informed now. As much as I can, I know what's happening all over the world. And I feel the weight. 

It's so easy to get angry and to have opinions both pro and con about ice bucket challenges, military action, injustices of all kinds, healthcare (or lack thereof). We are an opinion forming people, right? It's our right to do so. 

So Facebook is full of it. The media is full of it. I'm full of it.

And it's not necessarily bad to form opinions, to be educated about the world. But it's also really hard. 

I honestly don't want to know a lot of the information I'm getting. It's so much easier to ignore it and just live life, because when you look at all the bad things that are happening, you start to wonder where is God? Maybe not so much where is he, but what, exactly, is he doing?

It's been a summer of world chaos. And maybe a little chaos in my own head, trying to figure out what is right, what do we do, how do we help?

At work a few days ago, we had chaos of our own. And we lost the battle. And it was awful and I hated it. 

But in that moment, he was there. And even though it was horrible and we all cried and looked stunned for the rest of the night, he was there. And even when I don't have time to process it, and yet, all of a sudden, I'm processing it, he's here. 

I wish I knew all the answers to why so many are suffering. But I was privileged to be allowed to see him work in the suffering, in what, comparatively, is a small circumstance. And his presence was so real and so tangible. 

I know that if he can be in a hospital here in Sacramento, at the darkest moment of some people's lives, then he can be in West Africa. And the mountains of Iraq. And Ferguson. 

The big picture looks grim. Nothing about it sounds right. But I trust that the God that I know is a personal and loving God. Even if the media can't tell us that part of the story. He is there with those people. He knows their names, just like he knows mine. He is writing a story that maybe doesn't make sense right now, but I promise you, it is beautiful.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 

even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,"

even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day,

for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139:7-12