Life

I feel like I can't allow today to slip by without acknowledging it. Today marks the anniversary of what many would call a turning point in our country. And I cannot ignore it.

I have been blessed with a profession that allows me to witness new life every single day. I have held in my hands what few can fathom. I have been entrusted with a person's most prized possession and they look to me to make sure that he or she makes it through the night.

I may not be a mother yet, but I have spent my sleepless nights rocking a fussy baby, changing diapers, and giving the 3 a.m. bottle. 

I have also spent many sleepless nights, praying that a little one will just make it till morning, being afraid to touch them, just in case it hurts them or sends them over the edge. I have fought for their life, and I have failed. 

God has given me such a privilege. I have done none of it in my own strength. Not one of those successful nights would have happened without His grace. None of those failing nights would have meant anything were it not for His mercy.

If I have learned anything over the last two and a half years, it is that each, individual life matters. Each life has been orchestrated by Him. Even when it enters the world too early, mangled, or "incompatible with life." They are His. And they could come at 24 weeks, weigh one pound, skin and bones, with their eyes fused shut, or they could come at 40 weeks, screaming and fat, with grabby hands and soft skin. 

They are all individual. 

They are all gifts. 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. 
Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 
If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night," even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. 
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. 
Psalms 139:1-16