New Year

I am not, historically, a woman of joy. I am prone to negativity, to seeing the worst in the world, in people, and in myself. And yet, the past year, God has been especially good to me.

He has pulled me through so much of my junk, gently and lovingly. He has provided people to speak truth to me, even when I couldn't hear it. He has brought me back to Himself, over and over again. He has taught me and continues to teach me what a daughter of His looks like and that I am that daughter. More than anything, He has shown me that I am loved.

I want to learn joy. I want to learn gratitude. I want to learn how to lift others up with the pure truth of Him.

I have struggled with this new year...I have felt like things are just the same, and will continue to be the same. I regret to say that I have even felt hopeless about this year.

God, my Father, teach me joy. Teach me gratitude...that I may have joy and gratitude no matter what happens. If I get to the end of 2013 and nothing has changed or if I get to the end of 2013 and everything has changed, teach me to be full of joy in you, despite circumstances.

2013 will be a year of joy. May He make it so.


O God, you are my God;
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
 as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.

So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings
I will sing for joy.

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-8